Mike's Hard FFX
by Trau Kanshaku
Summary: A humorous account of a plot twist in FFX that gives the party another slightly rogue member. R & R please. Chapter 8 now added. The animosity is getting stronger...
1. Confusion on the Calm Lands

Author's note/disclaimer - I do not own any of the FFX characters (although I wish I owned Rikku! ::innocent look::) Yes, I am insane. However, I will attempt a plot. This is an alternate universe fic, somewhat self-insertion. To Tidus lovers: There will be a slight anti-Tidus karma in this fic, but I don't hate him, so it won't be anything that's not in good fun, don't let it stop you from reading this. About reviews: Flame if you must, but I just felt like writing this for no apparent reason other than boredom, so, "Whatever." to flames. Honest, editorials on errors are appreciated. Tell me if you would like to see more. So, without further ado:

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Chapter 1 - Confusion in the Calm Lands 

I stood on a ledge intently watching the small group of rather different looking people walking below me, at least different in the sense that they didn't look like normal people like the type one saw in Bevelle. I had heard numerous stories about them, and had been following them for a good hour or so. I wanted to see if they were really heretics like the stories told. So far, I hadn't seen anything suspicious, although my impression was that they were just all-around strange. As they walked farther along the expansive green plain of the Calm Lands, I just suddenly had the urge to go talk to them, to see if they were really odd, or just looked the part. So I walked down from where I was and stalked them across to the Al Bhed trading post that jutted out of the plain like a wart on a thumb. They stopped there, I assumed only to rest for a while, and I would have walked up right then, but the supposed heretic, the young summoner, was busy talking to an old man whom the whole party seemed to respect a great deal, so I just stayed hidden for a while longer. When he left, I just moseyed on over to where they all were, and was greeted, rather randomly, by an attractive, blonde Al Bhed girl. 

"Hi!" she said as her arm waved frantically. I thought it might fall off. I laughed silently, but I smiled warmly and assumed an air of the same enthusiasm.

"Hello." I said. Not quite the ideal response, but it would have to do for now. It just didn't encompass all I had to say.

"What're you doing around here? Not much to do except watch us, really." she said.

"Well, actually, that's what I have been doing. I wanted to see for myself if you were as heretic as Bevelle clergy makes you all out to be." I said, deciding to come clean.

She gave me an odd look for a moment, but then brightened. 

"Well, that's okay! We're not, you know. That's just what those Bevelle meanies say! I don't like them at all!"

"Okay, I believe you." I shrugged. "So, what did you do that makes the clergy say all that stuff?"

I later regretted that I had said that, for I got a long, boring explanation of their quest and events that had occurred that had made the Bevelle clergy oppose them. When it was finally over, we got into real, normal conversation.

"So, what is your name?" asked the summoner, whom I knew was named Yuna.

"My name is Genshi Kanshaku. Call me Trau, though." I said.

"I'm Rikku!" the blonde Al Bhed girl said.

And so they all introduced themselves to me, and we sat around a fire, as it was now dark, and talked the night away. They surprised me. All my notions of psycho, disobeying morons were shattered after a few minutes. I even felt guilty for thinking that they were something as the clergy described. 

"Well Trau, can you handle a sword?" the legendary Auron asked me.

"Well, I'm told I'm very good, but I don't know if the famed Auron would agree." I said, a little pretentiously. 

"Let's see then. Tidus, give him your sword." Auron commanded.

The blonde boy then handed me his rather neat looking sword, which I thought had to have been made by magic. It was transparent blue, and looked suspiciously like water, only frozen in a very solid state without being ice. I was given no time to ponder, however, as a fiend suddenly attacked, and none of the others budged. I was all alone with only my meager skills. It was a flame flan, and I had difficulty inflicting any significant damage, as the sword, although light and well-balanced, was rather ineffective at piercing tough armor, or the weird ooze that covered the flan. I did, in the end, succeed in killing it with less than the normal trouble. All in all, I was quite unsatisfied with my performance, but to the others it obviously was not as bad as I thought it was. Even Auron looked half impressed, even though he only grunted in brief approval. Tidus, though, only sniffed, and said,

"Yeah, well I could do that."

*What a fruitcake.* I thought. But just as I as about to voice my contempt, Yuna invited me to join her pilgrimage as a guardian. The only one who seemed to disagree was Tidus.

"What? Yuna, how could you ask him? We don't even know if we can trust him!" said Tidus, looking flushed and, well, hurt. I didn't know how I had hurt his pride, but obviously, I had somehow managed. Yuna looked at Tidus and shook her head, and then glanced over at Sir Auron.

"I'm sure if Sir Auron thought it was a bad idea, he would say so. Right, Sir Auron?"

"Hmph." Auron replied as he gave a quick nod of assent. 

Tidus, looking defeated, turned to the other guardians for support. 

"Hey guys, doesn't anyone else agree with me?" he said frantically.

"Whatever Yuna says, goes, ya?" Wakka said.

"Well, normally I would have to be with you on that one, Tidus, but if Sir Auron thinks it's alright..." Lulu answered..

"I'm glad to have him with us!" cheered Rikku.

"Well than, it's settled." declared a triumphant Yuna.

Tidus opened his mouth several times to say something, but he never quite got what is was off the tip of his tongue, and he finally sat down, sighed heavily, and gave up. I pretended to laugh because I was happy about becoming a guardian, but I was really laughing at Tidus. His little ploy to get rid of me hadn't worked. But then, as we all decided to try and go to sleep, I began to wonder why it was that he had wanted me gone. I didn't know what I did to him, if anything at all. Perhaps it was the fight. Maybe just by taking his sword and being better than him. I guessed that was it. I knew it was the only thing that I had done that could have possibly injured his pride, although if it was that fragile in the first place, he needed it badly. All this thinking made it impossible for me to go to sleep. I left my tent and went outside to sit by the campfire. Rikku was also outside sitting, but this I figured out only after she had startled me by turning around and saying,

"Oh hi! You can't sleep either?"

"Nope. Not a wink. I was thinking too much. When I do that, I can't sleep." I said, after a near heart attack.

"Yeah, I guess I was thinking about some things too, you know?" she said with a strange look on her face that I could not decipher in the poor light. It was just a little cloudy, and the moon was obscured. It still looked beautiful on the Calm Lands as I sat down, and Rikku and I gazed in silence, taking in all there was to see of the Calm Lands. From where we were sitting, the Al Bhed trading post was a little off to the right, and everywhere else I looked was just grass, with an occasional gully or odd, spiky rock interrupting the continuum of green. Rikku and I sat in silence for a few minutes more, and then I decided to ask,

"Is Tidus always like that? I mean, is his pride really that easily hurt?"

"Well, you know, I just think he's used to being the best." she replied.

"But Sir Auron is better at handling a sword. Much better." 

"But that's different. I think he kind of looks up to Sir Auron as a father figure, you know, since he hates his real dad so much." 

"He hates his own father?" I asked.

"It's a long story. Actually, I don't even know the whole thing, so, I can't really tell it to you." She cocked her head to the side. "Sorry! Of course I'm sure Tidus wouldn't want me to tell you anyway. I don't think he likes you, you know?"

"Yes, I do know, actually. I kind of figured that out before." I said grimly. "Not that it bothers me too much."

"He'll come around!"

I looked at her skeptically, but we both laughed. Rikku yawned and stretched, and we both got up to go back to our tents to go to sleep, but in mine I saw a dark form moving within. Strange noises came from the form inside my tent. I cautiously approached the zippered entrance, and peeked inside. I had to stifle a laugh. There was a flame flan ransacking my possessions, and worse, eating my food! Funny as it was, I had to stop it before I had nothing left to eat. Before I could get my sword, it saw me. The whole tent burst into flames as the flan tried to stop me from reaching my sword, which I had received from the party's arsenal earlier. I had nowhere to hide now, as it was out in the open, and so was I. I had no intention of hiding behind the other tents either, since it would most likely only flame those as well. *That would be wonderful.* I thought. *Join their quest, and then catch them all on fire because I was hiding.* So I just decided to attack it, but only managed to wake up all the others with the noise. Mass chaos ensued as they started complaining and yelling about the flaming heap that was my tent burning on the ground. 

"What's going on, ya?" mumbled Wakka sleepily.

"Hey, don't be setting things on...AAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" screamed Tidus as Fira was cast on him. He started running around like a chicken with its head cut off. A flaming chicken, that is. He ran off in a random direction to find water, and Yuna pursued, trying to cast a healing spell, and then the others followed, with Rikku bringing up the rear, yelling that there was no water in the Calm Lands to jump into, and for Tidus to hold still. I just sat back, relaxing. As much as one can relax when fighting a flame flan. Fortunately, I had done it earlier, which just made it a bit easier. After finishing my little skirmish, I took off after the rest of the group, who were still chasing after a still-flaming Tidus. I yelled,

"I'm coming! Don't leave me here!" 

When I caught up to Rikku, Tidus had managed to roll on the ground and extinguish the flames covering most of his body, but he still seemed to insist on running around wildly and screaming while nearly ripping his now-charred hair out. He yelled out unintelligible strings of syllables and started tripping over rocks. The chase ended when he ran face first into a wall at the Al Bhed trading post. 

*THWACK!* 

"Owwww..." was the last thing we heard him say before sinking into unconsciousness. 


	2. Stone Drunk

Author's note: Whee! I had nothing else to do, so I wrote another chapter! I realized how crappy the first one was. I'm kind of bad at describing, and it was just a little boring to begin with. I'll try harder, I promise! I feel like a thief. You take the time to read my fic, and it sucks. I stole your time. I'll try to not do that anymore. The "fanfiction police" will arrest me! ::hears sirens:: 

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Chapter 2 - Stone Drunk

"What in Sam Hill are you doing, Trau?" asked Tidus when he saw a large pot suspended over the fire, with sickly purple smoke rising out of it. 

"You'll see." I said, grinning widely. I was sitting by the fire attending to the mixture in the pot, and looking in a mirror to see if I had gotten any burn marks from the events in the small hours of the morning. I took out a comb and ran it through my platinum-blonde hair that was nearly white. It took several minutes before I was satisfied with the styling. I leaned back, and almost fell off the rock I was seated upon. *Whoa!* I thought. *I don't want to do that.* I got up and peered into the bubbling mixture over the fire. I took out a spoon and stirred it a little, and then closed my eyes and took a deep whiff of the delicious aroma emanating from the brown liquid.

*SPLAT!*

I cracked open an eyelid, and there in the middle of my concoction lay a blue-and-white blitzball. The irritated smirk never left my face as I turned to look for the source of the interruption in my reverie. I didn't have to look far. Wakka and Tidus stood not far away, and my eye detected a slightly guilty look on the face of Wakka, although Tidus seemed thoroughly amused. I could see him snickering all the way from where I was. *Now I know who's not getting any of my famous Gagazet moonshine.* I muttered. I picked the offending blitzball out of my brew, and kicked it back over to Wakka and Tidus. Looking down into my much-abused mixture, I saw the purplish color that told me it was done. 

"Ha! It's finished. Who wants some?" I called, to no one in particular. 

Rikku poked her head out from her tent.

"Some of what?" she asked.

Wakka, who had walked over after the blitzball incident, looked confused.

"What you talking about? What is it, ya?" 

"Well, if no one wants any, then I'll have it all to myself." I said, knowing that they would all want some now, regardless of what it was.

"Hey, let me have a, cup, or bowl, or whatever you put it in, ya?"

"Yeah, let me have some! Please?" whined Rikku. 

"Well, I guess I'll share it."

I divvied up some of the contents of the pot, and drank most of that which remained in a single draft. It seared my throat as it went down, but Gagazet moonshine was my absolute favorite to calm my nerves. I already felt myself sinking down into a state of absolute, careless bliss, also known to some as drunkenness. I barely heard Rikku and Wakka drink their share of my master creation, but I did remember hearing sputtering and coughing. They obviously liked it. 

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Author's note: I will have to switch to third-person here, as Trau is going to be totally stoned and unfit to narrate. And the third-person POV could possibly stay for the rest of the story. Yes, I know it's horrible author's etiquette to change POVs, but, well, it's only in the face of necessity that rules are properly bent or broken.

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Trau got up, staggering and stumbling. He hobbled over to Wakka and Rikku, who had also begun to feel the effects of the highly alcoholic substance. Tidus saw the commotion and stopped practicing blitzball to walk over and see what was going on. When he reached the camp, the last thing he saw were three screaming crazies running in erratic paths toward him, and they were holding big sticks.

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Yes, I know, short, but that was all I could think of. What will they do to Tidus? Bumbumbum...I love suspense. Review to find out!


	3. Wakka's Coffee

Author's note - I'm going to skip the part about what happens to Tidus. It is unnecessary, and I was off on a tangent when I wrote the last chapter. Sorry for the interruption, folks. Let's just say that they tied him to a stake and set him on fire while dancing in circles performing an odd voodoo ritual involving scantily clad women. Anyhow, to get on with it:

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Chapter 3 - Wakka's Coffee 

The sunset painted the sky over the Calm Lands in vivid shades of red and orange as we walked over the broad expanse of grass. I was admiring the tranquility and desolate beauty of the place as we traveled along on our way to Bevelle. Tidus was still complaining about his headache, and all the bumps and bruises that Wakka, Rikku, and I had given him while we were drunk in the small hours this morning. We had all probably told him to stop griping at one point or another, but he just wouldn't quit complaining. But I didn't say anything until he insulted my moonshine, calling it evil.

"What? What are you talking about? It's the stuff, man, you shoulda had some!"

This elicited smirks out of the others, but it only seemed to irritate Tidus more, but I did succeed in getting him to close his mouth for a while. After that, we all walked on in relative silence, save my quiet banter with Rikku, and the sound of Auron's sake jug colliding with a clasp or rivet on his robe. There was also the noise of other groups talking amongst themselves, for there were quite a few people traveling across the Calm Lands to escape the turmoil in Bevelle. We seemed to be the only ones that were going there. Everyone else was trying to get as far from it as possible. Occasionally, another group would stop and talk with us for a minute or so, to pay their respects to Yuna, but it was not until we got nearly to the entrance to the Highbridge that any real conversation took place. A group came out, consisting of three men and two girls, and one or two of them seemed to recognize Yuna. They all just started a conversation with Yuna, and being a guardian, I looked them over, but nothing seemed to be amiss. But there was one thing that I noticed, one of the girls just walked away and sat down on a nearby rock, like she didn't want to be here, or just didn't want to talk. I just thought she looked lonely. I was just going to let her be, but a little voice inside just kept telling me to go over and talk to her. So I finally gave in, and I strolled nonchalantly over and planted my rear on the rock next to her. She didn't even seem to notice me, and she was just staring at the ground.

"The grass must be pretty interesting, eh?" I said, a little afraid that she would take it the wrong way.

She didn't say anything, or even look up, so I just sat there looking at her. She had long, straight blonde hair, and the one eye that I could see was a slate blue color. She was wearing olive-drab pants that were made out of a suede-like material, a white tank top, and a hunter green cloak with white trim and gold buttons. She had black lace-up boots, and I could see black leather gloves in her cloak pocket. 

"I wish they wouldn't have made me come." she muttered.

"You don't want to...well, where are you going?" I asked.

"Kilika."

"And you don't want to go?"

She shook her head.

"If you really don't want to go with your friends, you might be able to come with us." I said. 

She finally looked up at me, and said,

"Do you think that Lady Yuna would really let me?"

"Sure, I guess. I'll go ask." I said as I stood up. I walked back over to the others and tapped Yuna on the shoulder, interrupting her conversation. I felt a little rude, but I had to ask her.

"Hey Yuna, can I ask you something really quick?"

"Sure." she said as I led her off away from everyone.

"Do you think there would be provision for one more in the party?" 

"I guess so, but who would it be?"

I stammered, realizing that I didn't even ask the girl her name, so I didn't have one to give to Yuna.

"That girl over there, well, her friends dragged her along, and she really doesn't want to go with them, so I kind of told her that she might be able to come with us." I blabbered.

"Yes, she can come with us, if she wants." Yuna answered.

"Thanks Yuna." I said, walking away. She rejoined the others, and I sat back down next to the girl.

"So, what's your name, anyway?" I questioned.

"Joatha."

"Welcome to our group, Joatha. That is, if you really want to come with us." I told her.

She looked up again, and this time I saw the shades of gray melting away from her eyes, and her whole face looked brighter. This had the effect of making her appear about five years younger than I had thought. And I hadn't noticed before, but she was beautiful. 

"Lady Yuna really said I could?" she asked, with a lighter tone in her voice.

"Yeah, sure. But why would you want to come with us instead of going with your friends?"

"Well...they're going to Kilika. That's where I used to live...and when Sin attacked..." she hesitated. "When Sin attacked, they were killed." she blurted, and then she broke down. I saw tears streaming down her face, and she put her head in her hands. Her slender body was racked by sobs. I just put my arms around her and gave her a hug. There was no need to say anything. Sometimes silence speaks more comfort than a million words. When she had stopped crying, we got up and walked over to the rest of our company, which were wrapping up the conversations with one another.

"Well, we really must get going." Yuna said.

"Yeah, I guess we'd better be on our way, too." declared the man that was talking to Yuna. His troupe then started to walk away. 

"C'mon, Joatha. We're leaving." called the other girl in the bunch.

Joatha just looked at her, and shook her head.

"I'm not going to Kilika with you."

"What are you talking about, Jo? Let's go, you're holding us up!" the girl said impatiently.

"I'm going with Lady Yuna and her guardians. So go on. You're obviously in a hurry." Joatha stated.

"Nonsense, you can't go...the other girl started. But she just turned around and they all kept walking. It was getting rather dark, so we decided Bevelle would have to wait until morning. We set up camp again, and Lulu got a fire going. I was going to make some more moonshine, but after the last experience, the others didn't think that was a good idea. So I had to settle for plain old dinner, which was some kind of roasted waterfowl from Besaid. It was quite good, even without liquor to wash it down. I was actually surprised that Wakka knew how to cook, but having been told he lived alone, understood why. The rest of night was rather uneventful, only excepted by my attempts at getting Joatha settled. In the end, we all got to sleep quickly, and woke up the next morning rested and ready to take on Bevelle. Of course, only after having some breakfast and coffee.

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Author's note: Assume that coffee exists. I don't see how they could live without it.

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While the coffee was brewing over the fire that Lulu had re-lit, we all just sat around and discussed what we were to do about the Bevelle clergy. Joatha, naturally, knew nothing about this, and perhaps it was better that way. I kept her company as the others talked about Bevelle. I just asked her questions about herself, and about her life.

"So how old are you?"

"Sixteen. What about you?" she countered.

"Seventeen." I answered. 

"Hey, breakfast is ready, ya?" Wakka called out, thus disrupting our exchange of questions. We ate breakfast in near silence, which was surprising to me, as Tidus was around. Unbeknownst to us, Auron had emptied some of the contents of his jug into Tidus' coffee. I heard Auron chuckling as Tidus took a sip, and then spit it out, coughing. He then looked up to stare at me like it was my fault. I just glared at him like he was crazy. He then switched his death stare to Wakka, who had made the coffee. 

"Hey, what you givin' me that look for, ya?"

"This coffee tastes like shit, Wakka!" he said.

"Hey, I think it tastes fine." Joatha pointed out.

"I didn't ask you!" Tidus said, rather nastily.

"Hey, don't talk to her like that!" I yelled.

"You wanna fight or something? And all this started with Wakka's shit-coffee!"

"Hey, hey! My coffee is the best in Besaid, ya?" Wakka said, and then he beaned Tidus in the head with his blitzball.

"What? You're gonna pay for that, you little shit!" screamed Tidus, picking up his sword.

Auron leaned his elbow on his leg and just finally cracked up. Tidus shot a withering glance over at him, and yelled,

"What's so funny, old man?"

"I put sake in your coffee. Put the sword down, and sit. Now." Auron commanded.

"Well, I think we've had our fun for today." I commented.

"Yes, we've wasted enough time already. Now let's get going." Lulu said.

So we broke camp, and walked the short distance to the Highbridge entrance. There was a big stone arch, and we moseyed on through it. It was another step in their journey climbed, but mine was just beginning.


	4. Bevelle Shenanigans

Author's note: Thank you so much to all who reviewed. I haven't gotten any flames yet - I assume that's a good thing. Maybe I'm better than I think I am. Oh well, keep reviewing people! Please? Make me a happy writer. A happy writer updates more, right? Well, I've been really busy with school and shtuff, so this chapter was long in coming. By the way, the reason this chapter switches from a humorous theme to a little dark is because right now, I could use a little cheering up. Life is not good. Happy Holidays everyone, and sorry for the delay, but it's here!  
  
Chapter 4 - Bevelle Shenanigans  
  
"Toys, toys, toys!" I yelled as I ran down the Highbridge waving my sword wildly in the air. I slowed, then finally stopped because the guards standing at the entrance to the city proper gave me a very strange look. But when I stopped, I also noticed that I had drawn quite a few stares from other passer-by as well. A slightly embarrassed look crawled across my face, and I turned around and walked back to the rest of the party, whom I had ran far ahead of.   
  
"Stop staring at me!" I yelled to all the people on the Highbridge. They didn't flinch.  
  
"Don't stare at crazy people! Especially not crazy people with swords!" Joatha said. I could tell she was suppressing a smile, or maybe even ready to crack up. I shrugged and told her,  
  
"I don't think they care."   
  
My eyes rolled heavenward as we finally walked on after my little "interruption."   
  
"You know that was really gay, right?" Tidus said to me.  
  
A contemplative look crossed my face, and I said,  
  
"Maybe you're right. It is more of something I'd more expect you to do."   
  
His only response to my wisecrack was to redden and turn his head away from me. But I had said it loud enough so that everyone could hear. Even Auron looked amused. But, as always, Tidus was the only one who looked like he wanted to kill me right at that very spot.   
  
"You really need to lighten up, Tidus." I said, a little disgusted with him.   
  
"Maybe I could if you would keep your mouth shut. I'm sick of hearing all this crap. And stop being such a maniac. We seem to have a bad image to a lot of people already, and all you're doing is making it worse." he replied.  
  
"Wow. That seems to be the only intelligent thing you've said all day." I said sarcastically. "Maybe even the whole week."   
  
As soon as the words came out of my mouth, I had to swing my hand up and block his fist. Suddenly, Auron came out of nowhere and now stood between Tidus and I.  
  
"Stop acting like such a child. You're too sensitive. I though I taught you better than that." Auron told Tidus. He turned to me and said, "And you don't need to antagonize him all the time."   
  
I nodded, but felt a little ashamed at being reprimanded like a five year old. The short remaining walk to the entrance to Bevelle was in silence. Whan we reached the gate, the guards, upon recognizing us, left their posts and marched up to us.  
  
"Halt. You are all under arrest. Please come with us." the higher-ranking of them said.  
  
"Please, I must speak with Maester Mika." Yuna told them.  
  
"Oh, you'll speak with him alright." another guard said, with an evil sneer on his face.  
  
I watched in slow motion as another company of guards came out and subdued the party members who were known, myself and Joatha not included. The guards asked Yuna if we were with her, and she just shook her head, and gave us a pleading look. I felt a unimaginable conflict of emotions at that moment. I knew she was being compassionate and trying to make sure we stayed free, but I felt like I was failing her as a guardian. It was all I could do to keep a straight face as her and the others were led off into the bowels of Bevelle. The large doors resounded with a loud boom as they shut, and to me, it sounded so final. It sounded like the end of my friends, her pilgrimage, and the end of everything I had to live for. I started running. Running from everything, and consciously, I didn't know where I was going. Down the Highbridge, out the vaulted arch, and over the green grass and sandy dirt I ran. Through the tall reeds, and past the rock outcroppings, and I finally stopped upon reaching the edge of the huge cliffs north of the Al Bhed trading post. I stood at the precipice, and just thought about my life. I could recall one fateful day as well now as I could a week after it had happened.  
  
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Flashback - Trau's childhood. Setting: a small house in Luca.  
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"Mom, where's daddy? He's been gone an awful long time!" my child-self said, rubbing the sleep from my eyes as I woke up from a cat nap. My mother didn't say anything, just hung her head, and started sobbing. She looked up with red eyes, and from my view now, I relaized how worn she looked. The wrinkles on her face had been more noticable then ever, and her hair was graying at the edges.   
  
"Sweetie, this is going to be hard to tell you, but your father was in a fishing accident...   
  
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End of flashback. I left a little room for imagination as to the event. Don't want to write myself into a corner later on.  
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I backed a few steps away from the edge, tears streaming down my face.   
  
"Why!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. The echoes floated back to my ears, and it seemed that the ocean itself was asking me the same question. Why was I still here? Why did I have to live through this? I needed a way out. I needed ultimate release from my suffering. I backed away a few more steps, and then ran full speed, and leaped off the edge. I imagined myself free as a bird in the peaceful existence of the Farplane. A peaceful existence that included my parents. And as soon as I had jumped off, my face slammed against the brown rock of the cliff.  
  
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What's going to happen now? I don't know, but I like to leave the suspense in the air. R & R please. 


	5. Left Alone

Author's note: Hello everyone! It took me a while to decide what should happen to Trau. Otherwise I just would have included it in the last chapter. But, I thought it over, and here's what happens! Enjoy.   
  
Chapter 5 - Left Alone  
  
I sensed a slight whiff of the sea breeze mussing my hair, but it didn't seem like half enough for me to be falling. So I opened my eyes, and looked straight down at the water far below. I saw the crimson droplets of blood glistening in the morning sunlight as they fell into the vast expanse of the ocean. Something was wrong. I looked up behind me to where I had jumped off, and saw hands around my ankles, and then recognized Joatha's long blonde hair waving in the wind.   
  
"What are you doing? Let go!" I shouted up to her.  
  
"No! I can't! What about Yuna and the others? And what about me? You can't abandon me now!" she yelled, and I saw silvery tears floating down with the rain of red droplets. I crunched so my hands could reach my feet, and began to unlace my boots. One by one the taped ends came through the shining grommets, and my left foot fell out of my boot. But her right hand now free, she fought my hands as they reached for the other boot. My vision was turning red, and I though it was because I was blacking out, but blood was running down my face, and getting in my eyes. I tried to use one hand to wipe it away, but it was a losing battle. Blood was flowing down my arms from Joatha's nails. She was really fighting hard to make sure I didn't fall. I almost stopped to ponder about it, but decided I could have all the time in the world on the Farplane to think. I wiggled and squirmed my foot out of the constraints of my footwear, and the wonderful sensation of total release came to me once again. All my cares and worries trailed behind me, and I felt my mind sink into a pool of pleasure as I hit the water.   
  
------  
POV change: Joatha  
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His fall into the murky blue seemed to me to take an eternity. I thought it would be just like my life without him. The world as I knew at it ground to a complete standstill. My hair fell limp, and the waves relentless crashing against the rocky shoreline stopped. I couldn't even hear my own desperate screaming. Even the splash when he hit the water seemed to freeze a moment after he disappeared into the depths. Suddenly, the world came crashing down on me. The wind felt like black ice as it resumed whipping my hair about my face and waving my cloak in the motions of the sea below. The waves sounded even louder, and I imagined that they were dashing his body to shreds against the rocks below. I pulled myself back up to the top of the cliff, and just leaned over the edge, searching in silence. The whole event seemed so surrealistic, I hoped that soon I would wake, and he would be with me again. I didn't even notice the soft hand on my shoulder until Yuna bent down and put her face in front of mine. I turned away, afraid that she would see that I was drowning, just like he had. Drowning in an ocean of sorrows even blacker than the deepest sea of Spira. I was afraid that she would ask, afraid to tell. I leaped up to my feet, and with my face scrunched up like a crumpled napkin, yelled,  
  
"Just leave me alone! Leave me alone to rot!"  
  
Before Yuna or anyone else could reply, for they were all there, miraculously out of the Bevelle dungeons, I ran away, just like he had done. But I was running from something tangible. I was running from myself. A trail of tears followed me back to the path to Macalania. Maybe I could catch up to my friends, pretend all this never happened, and get on with my life. About midway to the path, my legs gave out, and I crumbled to the ground like a piece of granite detonated by explosive. I opened my eyes, and glanced back, sure that the group was following, but they were gone. And so, with them, went my hopes of continuing on Yuna's pilgrimage. The pilgrimage, the door to a happy future, the door that he had opened up for me slammed shut, and the deadbolt clicked. The tears were uncontrollable, and they formed rivers on my face. I lay prone on the ground when I heard a deep growl. Reluctant to look up, my head raised slowly, and there I saw a skoll, its teeth bared and eyes glowing with hunger.   
  
"Oh no, not now." I muttered at it lunged. I shut my eyes and braced for the pain. I thought there was at least one good thing about dying. I would be with him again. But I heard a yelp, and upon cracking an eyelid, a blue sword lay buried in the monster's gut. And for the second time in minutes, I felt a hand on my shoulder. But this time, the hand wasn't Yuna's. It was wet, cold, and shivering. I dared not hope, and when I looked up to the owner, I stared straight into Tidus' face.  
  
"I didn't find him." he said slowly.  
  
"What do you mean?" I choked out between sobs.  
  
"I jumped in and looked for him. I didn't see anything." he said, with his head hung low.  
  
"Why? I thought you two didn't get along at all." I said, still not able to look him in the eye.  
  
"Maybe it looked that way, but, he really...well, he wasn't that bad of a guy. I just...I just was a little jealous, I guess. He was always grabbing everyone's attention. I just like to always be the center. I know, it's a little childish." he said, sounding a little hesitant, as if it was some big secret.   
  
"Thanks, I guess." I said, finally meeting his gaze.  
  
"I'm sorry." he replied. I saw a sad, caring look in his eyes for the first time.  
  
Tidus' stare strode elsewhere, and I saw his muscles freeze. His eyelids were open wide. It was probably just another fiend, so I didn't look right away. But when I finally did, the last thing I expected to see stood before us. 


	6. Visitation

Whee! I'm really having fun with this story. I hope everyone likes this chapter. Please R&R. Pleeezzzeeee??!! Do it for me.  
  
Chapter 6 - Visitation  
  
It looked like the skoll had already had its breakfast. There was a bloody, dripping carcass on the ground. It looked like a human, but was covered in seaweed, so I couldn't tell for sure. I wanted to know, so I got up, walked to it, and flipped it over. It was a human, but there was a mixture of seaweed and blood covering the face, so I cleared it off. I kneeled and stared so long that Tidus strutted over, and asked me if anything was wrong. I pointed at the face. He, too, just gaped at the sight of Trau's battered face and body. But now, no longer stricken with grief, but instead with worry, I was galvanized into action. I tried to lift his body from the ground. I was about to open my mouth to ask Tidus for help, but he beat my words to the action, and took Trau's other arm. We both dragged him, with the party following, to Bevelle to see if anyone would help. When Yuna realized that we were going to take him past the city gates, she ran to catch up, and told us that we had all been banished from ever entering Bevelle.   
  
"But someone has to help him!" I demanded, at a loss as for what to do now.  
  
We set up camp for the third time on the Calm Lands, and Yuna and I did our best to clean him up. We washed and dressed all the wounds, and scrubbed away the blood that he was covered in. We were startled when he opened his eyes, and said,  
  
"Moon...shine..."  
  
He fell back down and started snoring.  
  
"What does he want?" I asked Yuna.  
  
"Must be that Gagazet moonshine he made yesterday. Does anyone know how to make it?"  
  
Everyone shook their heads. We all sat in silence wondering how to find some.  
  
"Wait, so where would we need to go to get the recipe?" I queried.  
  
"It old Ronso recipe. Kimahri think you ask Ronso." Kimahri said gravely.  
  
"But we can't go into Bevelle!" Rikku said.  
  
"I can go! They don't know who I am! And besides, I know people in Bevelle!" I said excitedly as I jumped to my feet. I put a hopeful expression on everyone's face, and my feet flew toward the great arch leading to the city once again. As I had hoped, the guards didn't even flinch when I passed them, and now I had the daunting task of navigating the massive city. Walking through would take at least a day and a half, so I stopped at a small diner to get myself some food. I sat down at one of the bar-style stools, and the man behind the counter handed me a menu. I looked it over, and when he came back, I ordered my nourishment. Or maybe it wasn't. Barbecued condor wings. I gobbled them ravenously, and slurped down he water that I had gotten to wash them down. I waited for the bartender to come back so I could give him the owed gil, anxious to get on my way. He seemed to have disappeared off the face of Spira. I had been trying to avoid conversation, but a woman sitting next to me asked me,  
  
"Excuse me, but didn't I see you with that heretic summoner and her guardians?"  
  
"No, I'm afraid you are mistaken." I said, trying to sound as sincere as I could. But I knew it hadn't worked, for she didn't look satisfied with my reply, and I could feel my face getting hot. I knew it was as red as a flame flan.   
  
"You were, weren't you? Why aren't you in the Via Purifico? Did you lie like that to the Maesters too?" she said accusingly.  
  
Not knowing what else to do, I flung the gil that I was holding on the counter and ran as fast as my legs could carry me. But the slapping of soles on the ground coming from behind me told me that she was giving chase.   
  
"Stop her! Heretic! She lied to clergy! Where are the city guards when you need them?!" she was shouting.   
  
My cloak was flapping wildly behind me, and I thought that I could run faster without it, so I unbuttoned the clasps, and it flew backward. I looked back, and the woman was running blindly with a cloak covering her face, and I stifled a laugh. I was beginning to reach the part of the city that I had called home for the past sixteen years, and in the course of those years I had learned all the shortcuts there were to know. I weaved and dodged through the myriad of pedestrians that were massed on the walkways and streets. I was sure I would get away, but then I heard,  
  
"Oh thank goodness, there are some guardsmen. Constable! Constable! Stop that girl! She's guilty of hearsay against the inquisition!"  
  
I dared not look back, even at the sound of rifles being cocked. Before I got to the alleyway that I had been looking for, people dove to the ground, and the wall that was next to me was torn to shreds by the gunfire. I saw pieces of wood and concrete flying everywhere, and my ears were deafened by the incredible racket. I kept trying to hide in crowds, knowing that the Bevelle guards, corrupt as they were, wouldn't massacre innocents just to get me. They hadn't even verified whether the woman's accusation was true or not, but I knew that hearsay was quite the touchy subject in Bevelle, especially in these times of chaos and disorder. I was about to collapse from running, but I finally saw the alleyway in front of me. I dove into it and disappeared before the guards could notice where I had gone. I hid behind a trash can, and watched them run by, followed closely by the woman from the bar. After I was sure that they had gone far enough down the street, I went further down into the alley, and lightly rapped my knuckles on a wooden door that was set into a gray stone wall, hoping that my only remaining friend that hadn't gone to Kilika was home. I was overjoyed when she opened the door a crack, and when I was recognized, she flung the door wide open, and wrapped her arms around me.   
  
"Jo! I thought you went with Chadda and Brakk to Kilika! Why didn't you tell me you were still here?!" she said, a little too loudly for the circumstances. "Come in, come in! We have a lot of talking to do!" she added with a wink.  
  
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Well, my idea is now exhausted, so I'm done with this chapter! Hope you enjoyed it. I know I enjoyed writing it! So what will Jo do now that she's stuck with a gossipy friend, and the city constables after her? 


	7. Delayed

Author's note: Alright! Another chapter! I'm just a very happy person. Again, thank you so much to all of you who reviewed. I'm overjoyed watching the count go up. ^_^ Also, everyone welcome Myena to the plotline. (Qui-ti, you couldn't have chosen a better time to ask. I needed a name for Jo's friend.)

**Chapter 7 - Delayed**

            Joatha followed her friend into the richly furnished apartment, and took a seat on a wood-framed couch. Myena sat down on a chair across from Joatha. Jo was about to start talking, but Myena interrupted her.

"Hold on, before you say anything, let me go get some tea!" and that said, she disappeared into the kitchen. It seemed like only seconds when she walked out with a steaming pot of fresh tea. She set it on a cloth on the table, and went back into the kitchen for cups.

"Do you need any help, Mye?" Joatha asked.

"No, I'm almost done." Myena called. She walked back out, and set two china teacups down on the table, and filled them. She dropped a sugar cube into each, and the, put a spoon in and stirred. "There. Now, why didn't you go to Kilika?" Myena said as she sat back down in her chair, crossed her legs, and folded her arms across her chest.

"Well, we had just left the Highbridge, and I met this boy..."

            Myena gasped and covered her cheeks with her hands.

"A boy, you say? Oh Yevon, was he hot?" she said.

"Yes, and his name is Trau. And he came and talked to me, and asked that summoner..."

"Oh, you mean the Yuna girl that everyone's been talking about?" Myena interjected.

"Yes, her. And since I told him that I really didn't want to go to Kilika, he asked her if I could join her pilgrimage. So, I was surprised that she said yes, but she did."

"So why are you here?" Myena asked. "Shouldn't you be off doing things with Yuna and Trau?"

"Well, see, something happened to Trau. He got hurt, and I need to go to Mt. Gagazet and ask the Ronso about a recipe for some liquor stuff. It might make him feel better." I said. 

"Wait, a Ronso recipe? My cousin knew a Ronso, and she got some wonderful recipes from them. What was it for again?"

"It's for some kind of really strong liquor." I replied.

"You know what? Before you go off to Mt. Gagazet, let me check my cabinets. I might have it somewhere." she said.

"I sure hope so. I need to get out of this city. I think I'm wanted just for being seen with Yuna. When I came here, I was being chased by guards. I just knocked and hoped you were here."

            This immediately put a worried look on Myena's face. But she disappeared into the kitchen again, and I heard drawers and cabinets opening, and the fluttering sound of papers floating and lightly touching the ground. I walked in the kitchen to see what was going on, and saw Myena practically tearing her kitchen up looking for the recipe. 

"Mye, you don't have to wreck you house! I'll go to Gagazet and get it myself." I told her.

"Nonsense, Jo. Something tells me that it's here somewhere. Give me a minute, and it'll be in your hands." she said.

"You want me to help you look for it?" I asked. 

"Sure, look wherever your heart desires. We have to find it." 

            We continued sorting through uncountable recipe books and stacks of papers, but so far, neither I nor she had found anything that even remotely looked like what we were searching for.

"Mye, it's hopeless. It isn't here. I'll have to go to Mt. Gagazet." I said in despair.


	8. The Cure for Insanity

Author's note:  WOOHOO! I'm writing this on my new laptop!  Now I can use MS Word instead of Works. (my old computer really sucks) Yeah! Sorry…anyhow, again, I took a long time to update. Sorry to keep you waiting, folks.  Hope you enjoy.

**Chapter 8 – The Cure for Insanity**

"Aha! I found it! It's right here, Jo! I found the recipe!"  Myena called to her friend.  Joatha looked up, only to find Myena buried in a cupboard, and the kitchen was more trashed than she could have imagined. Neat little piles of recipes were strewn randomly about the floor, and it seemed like every drawer and cabinet had been flung open. 

"Mye, you didn't have to make such a mess of your house to find this for me! Here, let me help you clean it all up."

"Nonsense, it was no trouble at all! You have somewhere to be. And a lover to heal!" Myena said with a wink and a grin

Joatha chuckled and rolled her eyes heavenward. 

"I guess you're right. I do need to go." she said. "Wait! Why don't you come? You never know, the Bevelle guards could possibly know that I was with you. They might arrest you in the street one of these days"

"You're right." Myena said. "I think I will."

"All right, let's clean up and get going." Joatha said.

            They threw the papers and cards back into the cabinets, and Myena swept the floors. Joatha dusted off the rafters of the house, not because they had soiled the looking for a little piece of paper, but just because she was in a helpful mood. After they finished, Myena peeked out the end of the alleyway just to check if there were any guards walking down the street. When she saw none, she called back to Joatha, and they both slithered quietly onto the street and mingled with the still-active pedestrian crowds, effectively concealing themselves from all but the most observant guards. The rest of their city wandering went on without a hitch. They finally reached the city gates, and passed under the arched doorway onto the Highbridge. 

"Don't look back at the guards." Joatha whispered. "They might get suspicious." She didn't even turn to look at Myena, but knew that she had elicited a quick, indiscernible nod from her. They walked slowly and tried to pretend that they were on normal business, and it seemed to be working. The two guards standing at the gates never looked right at them, and never noticed anything out of the ordinary. The sky was already beginning to turn shades of rose and orange as they passed the stone arch, and their feet finally trod over the waving blades of grass of the Calm Lands. Joatha scanned over the horizon and spotted the yellowish light of the campfire. They began to walk in the direction of the camp, and were spotted my Yuna at a distance. Yuna took off running and met them halfway. 

"Joatha! Did you find it?" she said, out of breath from running.

"I ran into my friend here, and she actually had it. Of course, I almost got arrested by the constables, but I got it!" Joatha declared.

            Yuna gave her a worried look, but shook it off of her face, and said, "Come. Trau needs it, and soon. He's gotten worse." 

            Joatha cringed, and followed Yuna back to the camp. Trau was lying on a cot outside, covered in a blanket. 

"Quick Mye, where's the recipe?" Joatha said.

            Myena rummaged through her pockets, and pulled out the card with the list of ingredients written on the front. 

"Here it is, here it is!" 

            Rikku ran up and snatched it out of her hand like a rabid animal rips meat from the bone of a slaughtered carcass. 

"Come on, stop standing around! He needs help!" Rikku said. She sauntered back to the center of the camp and re-started the fire. She went in and out of the various belongings strewn around, looking for the ingredients. She gathered and rummaged and scraped up everything on the card at a furious speed, while everyone else just stared in amazement. All required ingredients were soon in a little heap next to the fire, and a pot suspended over it. Rikku got up and handed the card to Joatha.

"Read it off to me." Rikku told her. 

            Joatha followed Rikku back to the fire, and in a slow, determined voice, she elaborated on the steps, one by one. Rikku dropped some very strange things in the now-boiling water, including two electro-marbles. 

"I guess that's why it was so tangy, you know?" Rikku said with a wry smile, recalling the time when she had taken a draft of the foul substance. "Ugh…even so, I can't understand how he actually likes this. It smells nasty!" she added, wrinkling her nose at the rising purple smoke. 

"Oh well, look at us now. Here we are, making it for him. But it's going to help." Joatha said.

"You're sure about that?" Auron asked.

"There's not much else we can do, Sir Auron." Yuna pointed out.

"Hmph." Auron grunted in assent.

"I think it's done." Rikku said to herself while her face was hovering over the brownish liquid.

"I guess we can give it a try anyway." Joatha said, a little uncertainly.

            Rikku dipped a mug into the pot and carried it over to Trau. She bent over him and poured some of the brown ale into his mouth. Rikku fell over with surprise when he popped up into a sitting position as quick as a rubber band rebounds and started coughing violently.

"Whoo! That's the stuff!" he said after he had nearly blown gray matter out of his mouth.

            Rikku's face shone like a new star, and she jumped up and threw her arms around him. Yuna only cringed as she watched Rikku, remembering the conversation that she had with Joatha before she had left for Bevelle.

**Flashback: Yuna**

"So you really do love him?" Yuna asked.

"Yes. I really couldn't help it. He just…" Joatha stuttered.

"No. Don't try to explain it." Yuna said with a warm smile.

**End Flashback**

            Trau laughed and wrapped his own arms around Rikku. Yuna looked at Joatha, who just closed her eyes and turned away, her face scrunched up.

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Hahahaha! How'd everyone like this chappie?! Please review!


	9. Animosity Builds

Author's note:  Oooh…am I the only one who sees a future fight between Joatha and Rikku over Trau? I hope not, otherwise I didn't exactly do a good job on the last chapter…anyways, onwards to the next!

**Chapter 9 – Animosity**

**            I sat staring at the mesmerizing motions of the fire as I pondered the events of the last few days. I was surprised that no one really minded that I had been suicidal. I guess they understood that at that moment it had seemed the only release, the only way out. I knew now that it was the worst decision one could make, and I thanked God that Joatha had at least given me time to think about it. I knew there was water at the bottom of the cliff, and that just by jumping in, I wouldn't die, but after I had thought about why Joatha had wanted me to stay alive, I thought about the reasons that I needed to be alive. I thought about someone else other than myself for once, and realized how important I was to myself most of all, and then I knew that I mattered to others, too. I decided to stop thinking about it, because it was behind me now, and nothing more could be done except slap myself in the face over and over. The only thing that worried me now was that Joatha wasn't speaking to me for some strange reason. A reason that I needed to know. So I decided that I would ask Yuna. Something inside me told me that she would know what was going on. Yuna always did. **

            I got up, and walked silently to the entrance to her tent. Kimahri was standing there, guarding her like he usually did. 

"Hey Kimahri, is Yuna awake?" I asked him.

"Yuna awake. Kimahri get Yuna." he said as he disappeared into her tent. I wondered if he had ever heard the words 'proper" and "grammar" used in the same breath. "At least he keeps a cool head all the time, unlike some other unmentioned people on this pilgrimage." I thought. Kimahri came back out with Yuna in tow, and I led Yuna away from the campsite. Kimahri started to follow, but Yuna waved him off with a look on her face that told him that this was a private matter. After we had gone far enough from everyone else as not to be eavesdropped, I put a hand on Yuna's shoulder, looked her straight in the eye, and asked,

"Yuna, do you know why Joatha isn't talking to me? I really need to know, because it's bothering me a lot."

"She loves you." Yuna said with a blushing smile.

"What?" I exclaimed in disbelief.

"She loves you!" Yuna said, like a first-grader who was telling about a crush.

"Okay, but how does that explain why she is ignoring me?" I said, trying to be serious, but I couldn't hide the smile that was creeping across my face. Suddenly we both burst out into laughter. 

"I think she's jealous. She thinks you love…" Yuna stopped, and covered her mouth. "Oops. I wasn't supposed to tell you that." 

"Okay, I'll try and sort it out on my own, but thanks, Yuna." I said, regaining my serious mien.

"Don't mention it." Yuna replied. "Literally, don't mention it. Don't tell Jo that I said anything to you."

"Funny, I was about to say the same thing."

            I started to walk away, but Yuna stopped me before I could get out of earshot.

"Wait, one question before you go. Who do you love?"

"Myself." I said, wrapping my arms around myself and avoiding the question.

            Yuna laughed, and we both went our own ways back to the camp. I decided to confront Joatha about it face-to-face so I passed my own tent and stopped at the entrance to hers. I called out her name. There was no answer, so I called again. When I heard no response, I opened the flap and peeked in. She was gone. 

When Rikku, Wakka, and Lulu came back from the trading post, I ran to them frantically.

Where is she?" I yelled.

"Where is who?" Lulu asked.

"Where is she?" I screamed insanely, grabbing onto Wakka's necklace and pulling his face close to mine. My crazed eyes bored into his mind like an oil drill. He closed his eyelids and turned away, obviously disturbed by my glare. Lulu grabbed the back of my cloak and ripped me off of Wakka, threw me on the ground, and raised her hand to point it at my face. I focused all my concentration, and time slowed to a snail's crawl. I rolled off of the ground, leaped up, and locked Wakka's neck with my arms. I let my energy slide away, and time resumed its natural course. Lulu looked around on the ground, astonished at my disappearance.

"Try and cast now, Lu. I'm not trying to hurt anyone. I want to know where she is." I said from behind Wakka, who was doing his best to wrench my arm from around his neck. I just released him of my own accord after Lulu realized that I hadn't gone on an insane killing spree after all.

"Sorry Wakka, had to be done." I told Wakka.

"I understand, ya? I know how Lu is sometimes." Wakka said with a laugh.

            Lulu could only glare at him with her crimson eyes, and he looked like he would regret saying that later on. 

"Okay, now that you've calmed down, who's missing?" Lulu said.

"I can't find Jo. I need to talk to her, and she's not here. Please tell me you've seen her." I pleaded. 

"Nah, come to think of it, I haven't seen her all day." Wakka said.

"Me neither." Lulu told me.

            I turned desperately to Rikku. She only shook her head slowly. I sighed heavily and lowered my head to stare at me feet. I saw another pair of boots stepping up to me, and I knew the owner was Rikku. 

"Jo will turn up soon. I'm sure of it!" she said.

            I looked up at her, and she threw her arms around me and gave me a hug. I lay my head on her shoulder, glad to have someone there to comfort me. It had been incredibly hard to decide between Joatha and Rikku, and that was why I had avoided Yuna's question, but now I knew what I wanted.

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So…now he knows. Now I just have to figure out who it is myself. I mean, it seems obvious, but this is a very dynamic character here. The result might not be the expected one.


	10. Confession

Author's note: I think I finally decided which girl Trau is going to go after. I guess I'll have to go with Joatha. (because it'll be easier for me to write in the story) Well, here goes. And really, I'm sorry for the HUGE delay in updating. School sucks. And I'm pointing out the obvious again. Anywho, on with the fic:

**Chapter 10 – Confession**

            I stood there with my arms around Rikku, but something was…wrong. I felt like a hypocrite for displaying feelings that were totally false. I felt a single tear running down my cheek, and it ticked me. I wanted to wipe it away, but of course I couldn't spare a hand at the moment. Rikku and I broke our embrace, and I was a little relieved, almost. I put up a hand to wipe my face, but I made it look like I was just wiping sleep from my eyes, or something of the sort. I closed my eyes, and looked down at the ground again while I walked away. Nothing seemed to be right with my world at the moment, but I intended to fix it. I thought of where I would go if I was Joatha, and then a revelation hit me. I stopped, and I knew where she would be. When I got to the cliff near the trading post, sure enough, there she was, sitting with her feet dangling over the edge. I just watched her for a minute, though, because I had no idea what to say, or even if I did, how to say it. So, when I had gathered the resolve to get myself in motion, I went to her and sat down beside her, just as I had done when we met. I hoped it would symbolize something, a special event between us, something special in our relationship. Only this time, she looked up right away, but when she saw it was me, she immediately made it clear that she wasn't in the mood to talk by immediately turning her head away. 

"Jo, I need to talk to you." I said. Her response was only to stand, and she started to leave. I got up as quickly as I could, and put my hand on her shoulder, another symbol, trying to gently pierce the wall of black ice that had formed between us. 

"Jo, please. Don't leave. It's really important." I pleaded, though I was trying not to sound too desperate. She turned around and stared at me with a look as cold as an arctic wind. She shoved my hand off of her neck, and started to walk away again.

"Let me say something, dammit!" I yelled.

"Okay, so just say it already and let me go!" she replied, giving in to my request in exasperation.

"Joatha, I love you." I declared, as I showed off the most serious, sincere look in my expansive arsenal of expressions. There was an almost eternal silence afterward, and hoped that the three magical words hadn't become a silence spell since I last checked. She took a few steps toward me, and I began to hope that I had finally done something right for a change. My suspicions were proved correct when the cold expression literally melted off of her face, and she nearly leaped on me. We embraced, and she said,

"I love you, too." 

Girls and their mood swings. Fifteen seconds before, she was glaring at me like she would lynch me on the spot if she could. How it had all changed so quickly, I didn't know. Now she was hugging me and kissing my cheek like there was no tomorrow. Of course, with everything that was going on, there might not be a tomorrow. It was kind of a morbid thought, though, so I disregarded it and concentrated all of my attention on Joatha. Quite a matter of demand, of course. What else would command more attention than the girl that I love, in my arms? If there's an answer to that question, please, by all means, I'd very much like to know it. We kissed softly, and just kind of…stood there. Silence again. This whole quiet routine was beginning to get to me. 

"So…I guess that…" she started, breaking the notably awkward silence.

"What?" I replied, rather intelligently.

"I guess that it's safe to say that you aren't interested in Rikku, like I thought you were?" she asked.

"Oh, so that's what this was all about, the walking away and being mad at me, huh?" I asked playfully, knowing full well that was, of course, the issue. I didn't need an answer to that ridiculous question, but I was just prodding along, trying to get as much information as possible. 

"Well, I guess you could say that." she said sheepishly, turning a bright shade of crimson, though barely visible in the dim moonlight.

"That." I said.

"What?" she queried, completely confused. 

"You said I could say that. So I did. What's so difficult to understand?" I countered sarcastically. Her response to my idiotic joke was a facepalm and a shake of her head. And then, not to be ignored, a hysterical outburst of laughter. "Leave it to you to ruin a serious moment like this, Trau!"  she said between breaths. I rolled my eyes and snickered, and then I joined her in splitting my sides and nearly rolling on the ground. When we both finally managed to calm down and fend away the threat of asphyxiation from laughing too hard, there beside us stood the gang. I think we made quite a bit more of a racket than we intended to. 

"What's so funny, ya?" asked Wakka, voicing the thought on their minds. 

"Yeah, you're laughing like a couple of morons over here!" Tidus said. Damn him.

"A couple, yes." I said, making a very vague reference to my newfound relationship. "But it appears to me that if you find this funny without hearing the joke, you're the moron." I countered, piquing at his patience. I received another of his infamous death glares in reply.

"Don't you have anything better to do than insult me?" he asked, fire gleaming in his eyes. 

"Yes, actually, I do. I could humiliate you, I could scorn at your lack of intelligence, I could recite some very embarrassing blackmail, I could plot to make your life miserable, I could tell some very funny jokes that I've made up to annoy you…"

"Please. That's quite enough. I think we all get the point at how little of a life you have." Tidus interrupted, clearly annoyed. So, my mission completed, I decided to stop playing games with his mind and suggest something interesting for us all to do in celebration. Even though the others weren't about to find out what exactly it was that they were celebrating. 

"…or we could go have a barbeque. What do you say? I'm cooking!" I said enthusiastically.

"You? Cooking? So that means I'm definitely not eating." Tidus declared.

"Oh c'mon! I'm cooking too!" Joatha said, more to me than anyone else. Although it drew the consent of Tidus to eat. And drew some curious stares from the party when she was clinging on me, essentially begging to help. At least none of them had the gall to ask anything. Except for…guess who…none other than Tidus. 

"Wait, so is there a thing between you two?" he asked nonchalantly. 

"Define thing, Tidus. If you mean air, yes. A blade of grass, yes. A bug, probably. Fabric, yeah. Seriously. Be more clear in your references." I chided sarcastically, although this time, it was for general amusement, made obvious by the amiable smile I wore on my face. It must have worked, because he even laughed. But still, the question was unavoidable. So I looked at Joatha. Without saying a word, we consented to reveal it to them. No sense hiding anything from our friends, after all.

"Yeah. I guess there is." I said, scratching the back of my head.

~SHOCKED SILENCE~

"What?"

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Whee! What a dumb way to end a chapter. Anyways, it was short, but another shall follow very soon. The barbeque! Woohoo! 


	11. Shrimp on the Barbie

Author's note:  Yay. Another chapter is here! Good thing that I have a little more free time now. Heh. Or else I'd go crazy without writing. Darn that school. Trying to drive us all insane, I tell you! Wait. I am insane. Disregard that last comment. They're trying to annoy the living hell out of us! There. That sounds more accurate. On with the shocked silence!

**Chapter 11 – Shrimp on the Barbie**

"What what?" I said to Tidus. 

"What?" he repeated. 

"I don't remember seeing any ancient Greek mythical women around here…" Lulu said. 

"Nope, just an echo!" Rikku chimed. 

~STARE~

"What?" Rikku asked, looking at us like we were plotting.

"What?" Wakka asked, confused about the reference to mythology, not being the brightest guy around.

"Anyone else feel like saying what?" I said.

"What?" Auron asked, just as confused as Wakka.

"You're the last person I expected to say that, Auron." I told Auron.

"What?" Joatha said, befuddled, just like everyone else.

"Shut up everyone! If I hear the word what one more time, I'm going to get pissed off! And you don't want to see that! It's not a pretty sight!" I yelled.

"What?" Myena asked. 

Grunt. Snort. "Gah! Dammit, what the he…who are you?" I asked Myena.

"Mye! How'd you find us!" Joatha called, running up and hugging her friend. 

"Ummm…you've been here for days, Jo." Myena pointed out.

"Hmmm…that's true." Joatha pondered. "Oh, and you know that was a rhetorical question, right?"

"No…" Myena said, with eyes subtly glancing upwards.

"Well, it was." Joatha declared unnecessarily. 

"Oh." Myena said. 

"Whoa, you know what, before you go on, would you like to have some manners and introduce your friend, Jo?" I questioned with a slight wink.

"Oh, umm…sure. This is Myena. The person that I got the moonshine from." Joatha said. 

            And so it went. Handshakes and greetings all around. And then a random comment from none other than Wakka.

"Hey, weren't we supposed to have a barbeque, ya?" he asked. 

"Oh yeah! Let's go! What does everyone want to eat?" I called as I started walking towards the camp.

            At this point, plenty of umms and durs came from the group, all trying to decide what they craved. And then shouts. 

"Fish, ya!"

"No, chocobo!"

"Veal!"

"Beef!"

"So what are you going to cook?" Joatha asked me, running to catch up, with Myena following.

            And so, being the incredibly intelligent and mature individual that I am, I said,

"I dunno."

"Hah, hey, cook something that wasn't mentioned. That'll kind of annoy them." Myena suggested.

"I'm beginning to like the way you think." I said as I plotted. "How about shrimp? No one requested it, but then again, they shouldn't complain."

"That'll work." Myena consented.

"Sounds good to me." Joatha said.

            So it was decided. Shrimp. I got the fire started with a good old fashioned tinderbox, trying to keep my little plan concealed from the others. Except, of course, for the ones that already knew. Namingly, Joatha and Myena. They certainly had to know, as they were the co-conspirators of this little scheme. Not an evil scheme, just a scheme. Nothing more than a weird notion that this would be slightly and subtly annoying to the others, the plan conjured in the depths of Myena's most likely twisted mind. Just like mine. Well, okay. If her mind was more twisted than mine, then I'd scream "Apocalypse!" and throw myself in a ditch…but after deciding that a ditch wouldn't help at all, and thinking just exactly how different apocalypse was from a tornado, I thought that I was probably flawed in my psychological evaluations, I got back to the task of pulling a bag of shrimp out of my mess kit that I had brought along and sticking them over the now satisfyingly large blaze. And every time that someone would come along, Joatha or Myena would stand to block their view of my culinary activities. It always helps to have accomplices. And so that fact made itself clear as they kept me from all suspicion until the meal was finished roasting. It wasn't what they wanted, but to me, it looked like I deserved a five-star chef badge. See, one star for insane, one for disturbed, one for random, one for sarcastic, and one for…something. And then I remembered that I already had that badge. No need for another.

"Food!" I called. Did I really need to say anything more? Of course not. It was like a shining beacon, summoning all to my vicinity. Naturally, I had the dishes covered. With napkins. And it wasn't really a table that we had them set on. Just a fabric topped folding table-like object. 

"Mmmm…smells good, ya? And smells like seafood!" Wakka declared.  

"It sure does smell good. I may not like you, Trau, but I have to admit, I feel like this is going to taste pretty darn good." Tidus said.

"Oh, I'm sure you will." I replied. And reading the look on his face, I added, "No, there's no poison. I'm too lazy right now." And he actually appeared satisfied with my answer, like he trusted me. It was quite a strange moment.

            So, with all that said, all the plates were uncovered. Nobody present said anything about the main course, but Myena, Joatha, and I shot glances at each other acknowledging that we had seen it in their eyes, the irritation of not getting what they wanted. Of course, even if I did cook something that hadn't been requested, I still couldn't have made everyone happy. Looking back, I realized that though it was rather amusing, it might have also been the smartest choice I could have made, not to feign favoritism. Or what could be construed as such. 

            After taking their first bites, comments poured out in a torrent. 

"Hey, this is really good." Rikku said, the first to compliment.

"Yeah, great stuff, brudda." Wakka added.

"I actually like it…" Tidus declared.

"Hmm…not bad. Spicy." Lulu said.

"Hmph." grunted Auron. "Quite satisfactory."

"Whoa, lighten up, dude." Myena told Auron. "Listen to yourself: Quite satisfactory. Just say, 'Hey, this shit is good!' No need for your fancy-talk, right?"

~STARE~

"What?" Myena asked.

"Ugh. Not this again." I groaned. Not like anyone heard me. Myena's satire of Auron's voice had the others threatening to fall out of their chairs laughing. But not me. I had already fallen out of mine. There was no need to do it again. 

            The rest of the meal proceeded in relative quiet. Tidus actually shut up for once to eat. I guess he liked my laxative-laced potato salad. He ate quite a bit of it. So did the rest of the group.

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This really cracked me up. I never expected that kind of ending. REVIEW! Tell me if you want more. Or you could ask to be in it, although you'd have to give me a nice name. But that shouldn't be a problem. Right? Review.


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